Early one morning I made another trip out to Jacksonville, Florida to meetup with Fidd Chewley. He was living there at the time, and I would meet him in the parking lot of a
Daily’s. It was close to the exit and I would immediately leave the area so I could once again say I “hadn’t stepped a foot in Jacksonville”. On this occasion I felt up for some day drinkin’, which Fidd calls “drinkin'”, so we drove to Saint Augustine and went exploring the town, and our feelings.
This is a cool lifehack i discovered where you can save hundreds on prescription sunglasses.
Fidd started his day by calling bullshit on the local farmers market. If I recall, he said he wanted to buy some farmers. This man was describing his wife’s last dump.
There were these goats, who we assumed wanted to eat us but had not yet evolved the ability lure us into the pen with their hypnotic goat eyes.
This was the horse. She was a real beauty, and we stood in awe of her grace. Fidd stuck his finger into the eyeholes of this gentle stallion, and made sure there weren’t any spiders trying to hone in Ol’ Soulpatch’s empty skull.
Then we went to Church
The welcoming presence of the Lord tried it’s best to shine through these acid-washed concrete facades.
Fidd found the secret entrance to the Choir Boy Locker Room. There weren’t any Snickers bars in the trash can, though.
They wanted us to pay a dollar to come inside and look at something God told someone to make, but we slipped by the guy in the hat after I threw a copy Cub Scout Enthusiast down the hall as a distraction.
Fidd wanted to play his version of Frank Zappa’s Jazz From Hell for the couple grieving the loss of their son due to a tragic accident involving an electronic can opener sold to them by a Freemason.
They had these dead people made into a book.
Obviously these guys don’t have enough FAITH
Fidd gave a sermon on why you shouldn’t ever attempt to intervene in rape involving ducks, due to how frightening their corkscrew penises look.
Overall, no one was interested in hearing what God had to say that day.
Down the street, we found an obviously brilliant strategy for getting women to meet us in empty houses.
Fidd and I wanted some drugs so we went to the drugstore.
they had devil water
they had some jew water (left)
Fidd was unsure whether he wanted St. Joseph’s Carp-scented Suppositories or the Soltice Opiod Tablets.
Luckily they had a refill for my authentic 1930’s vape.
On the right is the One-Gauge.
The birth of Autism.
This is where Fidd Chewley discovered the true meaning of “FEAR”
We went to find some loose pieces of gum in the floorboards of this place but they were closed which was dumb because it was open.
Stick your ______ in the clown hole.
Fidd Chewley swore he was gonna tell the Fire Marshall about this place if they didn’t let us in.
Instead he began smoking and we waited to see how long we could blow choking vapors around before the ceiling caught ablaze.
We went out for Lunch at this place.
Fidd wanted to climb the sign.
He ended up climbing up into the top part of it but I don’t have a picture. Sad :(.
This guy is proly a dick